Albert lost his wife many years ago and lives alone. He doesn’t drive and, because the bus service in our village is spasmodic, I often give him a l...ft to the big shops. I don’t actually remember how I got roped into being his personal chauffeur, it just kind of happened.Countless times I asked him to cease his lewd behaviour — but it only made him worse. He was forever saying things like, “Come on, darling, just a quick roll in the sack with Albert. Your husband will never know.” Or, “Let me. “The panthopus that fucked your sister, Lady Pyrriah,” said the sphinx. “It was stalking around our camp, but we chased it off. It’s afraid of us.”“Good,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course, Lasla’s cunt made an impression on the monster.”“She’s rather remarkable, your sister,” Nephi said. She blurred back into her all-woman form, her large breasts jiggling in the firelight. “Let’s get back to camp. We’ll have to be on watch. He might try to steal your sister.”“And fail,” I said. “There’s no. She was winking at herself above a self-satisfied smirk. The bikini resembled dental floss and snugly wrapped her ample bosom and toned naval. The caption read: hard work pays off. Beneath the image were thousands of comments saying how amazing she looked and what a great body she had. Line after line of praise and worship. The absurdity made me shake with rage. What the hell did this little scamp know about hard work? She didn’t look like she’d done a proper day’s work in her life. Hard work. Don’t worry.”“Thank you, it means so much to me for you to do this.”“You know the odds against it being a Michelangelo…”“Are a million to one, yes. But when you see…”“I’m not an expert in art, but I hope for you that is one.”I unwrapped the painting and placed it on the heavy wooden table where she was working. She raised her glasses and looked at it closely.“It is a remarkable painting. It is beautifully painted.”“When will you begin the tests?” I asked inquisitively.“The carbon dating will.
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